So, a few days ago I was
watching Jada Pinkett Smith new Facebook show Red Table Talk starring herself,
her mother Adrienne, and her Daughter Willow, and the topic that week was body
confessions. So, a viewer sent in a question about colorism in the black
community and Adrienne suggested that everyone watch a documentary called Dark
Girls. So, me being a dark girl myself decided to check out the
documentary. So, it was a Friday morning when I decided to watch it and I was at court
for work. The doc started off with a beautiful dark skin little girl only about
6 years old, and she said she didn't like being called black; that statement
touched me so much because I've felt that way growing up and I felt her pain to
the point that I started to get choked up. While watching the show, I could
relate to all the testimonies of the women and girls. Growing up being dark
skin was not "it". My own personal experience was horrible. It might
not have seemed that way to the people looking in because I tend to internalize
my feelings making it seem like I’m ok and that’s a habit that I have carried
on into adult hood. I grew up in a household full of girls, 7 to be exact and
i’m the oldest. I have 3 sisters and 3 cousins and yup I'm the darkest. I take
my complexion from my dad and being dark skin never really bothered me until
other people started to bring it to my attention. Y’all know that it all starts
in school right? I would start to realize that all the light skin girls got all
the attention and if you were light with long hair than you were lucky and had
no problem getting attention. Next, people would say smart comments like are
you from Africa (there’s nothing wrong with being from Africa but yall know
what was being implied), you're too black, and I even got "that’s
why you're “crispy from a family member. Y'all don’t get how much I hated
myself for being dark, like why me outta everyone? I kinda think that’s why I
was so tomboyish because it was better to just be friends with the guys than
trying to get them to like, me and that way my feelings wouldn’t get hurt (I
needed to have tough skin). I never thought about bleaching my skin, probably
because I knew nothing about that, but I would make a conscience decision to
stay out of the sun. I wouldn’t go outside until the sun went down and I would
do anything to avoid getting darker. I remember one summer I went to the Jersey
shore with my family and I love the beach, but this one day I was in the sun a
little too long. When I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror I knew
instantly that I should've left the beach a little earlier; I was so mad on the
inside like why would I allow myself to get any darker? Now back to the red
table talk question, another viewer asked a question along the lines of how you
teach your kids to have confidence if you lack it yourself? Jada said that
you have to work on yourself, be happy with yourself, and love yourself before
you can teach anything. Your kids feed off your energy and when they see that
you love yourself, that energy will transfer on to them. That resonated with me
because I have a beautiful chocolate daughter, and I want Imani to feel
beautiful in her entirety. I want her to feel comfortable to be who she is
regardless of her skin tone and I know it’s only a matter of time before it is
brought to her attention. She’s 6 years old and her hair has already been an
issue. Imani has tight curly hair that I braid most times and she wears twist,
puff balls, and any style that keeps her hair in the natural state. One day
Imani came to me and was like, why my hair can’t be like aunt ani (Andrea my
sister), and I’m like why does it need to be like that? She said "I like
it because her hair is straight and pretty". When she said that, it broke
my heart to know that she thinks her hair is less beautiful because it’s not
straight. So, I told my sister and she also got choked up and talked to Mani
and told her that her hair was beautiful, (such an emotional convo). Seeing how
early these situations are affecting young girls and now my daughter, that
statement that Jada said made me realize that I have to step up my game and be
comfortable with myself and love myself fully. I let both my kids express
themselves to the fullest with the way they dress to how they wear their hair;
it’s all about self-love and if you love yourself nobody can make you feel
different. But just like Jada said, "working on yourself is a work in
progress and people's opinions might hurt, but as long as you have the
confidence in yourself nobody can break you". So this post is for my
Melanin, chocolate drop, beautiful baby girl Imani. Just know that you are good
enough no matter what people think of you; you are magical! And to all my
fellow dark girls, we have always been beautiful! People have just been too
blind to notice, and we've always been winning. #teamchoclate
Love love love this@
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